Being a Bachelor (2)
There’s a rumble in my tummy
Please read in my voice, Welcome to today’s episode, sorry it took this long. Allow me to borrow a lie we give for such excuses “I have been very busy”.
One of the beliefs that have gained root in our core existence is “Men can’t or don’t know how to cook”, I come before you to say the truth, its a lie. please just before you get excited, this is not an advocacy for gender balance or equity in gender roles, this is not the episode.
If you have ever believed that “Men can’t or don’t know how to cook” then I am sorry “they have collected Friday in your hand and given you Sunday (a Yoruba proverb meaning, you have been greatly deceived ) Ladies, how many times, have you visited a guy with the sole aim of cooking but ended up with a request from this guy to cooooook. Well, take it as it is.
one of the many reasons guys will never consider cooking is simply because of that statement ‘men don’t cook’, it becomes a tradition that we unconsciously nurture even when it’s to our detriment. You’d prefer to make noodles or snack up when there are better alternatives, and you’ll stock up the house, because a lady (cook) is coming over, just to give relevance to ‘men don’t cook’.
This statement turns false when the breeze of brokeness hits uncle and its evident that eating out is now a luxury, her coming over to cook is paying almost 10 times your meal, because you are obliged to pay transport fare again. This is the most humble a man can be.
Food is one of the essentials of our existence and I dare say every guy can cook, levels differs but really, ladies should be scared of a guy who tells you he can’t cook and keeps having you over for that reason, don’t you have fantasies of breakfast in bed?
Men and ego are almost inseparable and one of the things we need to chop off is this fallacy. This is the same reason, I am refilling my 3kg gas after 6months. A lady would have done that thrice, how else can she prove she’s wife material.
As an undergraduate, we had something called “Cooler ministry”, this is where random girls give food to guys, which usually comes in big coolers, you know now, boys are glutton and they always have plenty gluttons as friends who will see you tomorrow and say to themselves “na that girl whey no sabi cook be that oo” after they must have finished the food and plate still lying somewhere unwashed.
You’ll see a display of culinary skills, I am not sure they eat as much fish or meat dished in those plates themselves, but they have to impress, neat plates and fine arrangements. And for the guys, the number of cooler ministers you have, the more of a happening guy you are. Well, I was caught up in that trend too, who doesn’t want to feel cool?
Yes, there are exceptions to this truth, but definitely not to the degree widely publicised.
Eating well isn’t a luxury in the hands of ladies or canteens and consuming fried egg with noodles doesn’t make you more of a man.
A man that can’t cook is because he has money, I only hope the money never finishes.
Did you ever receive the blessings of cooler ministry?