Being a Bachelor (3)
Alaye Jara’e.
Quit the Zone
I had anticipated I was going to write this in all excitement with as much frenzy vibe that my imaginations could reflect through my hands of course. But the laws of interruptions won’t allow that. I hope you still get the juice from this anyway.
Alaye Jara’e (My friend be smart), Quit the Zone! Please read that again.
Few days ago I saw a tweet which read [not in exacts words] “ I don’t want to date this guy, but I like to have him around”. Does that sound like you? How many guys are you currently keeping around?
Until I started actively sampling people’s opinion on this relationship thingy, I never knew “zoning” was this much of an issue. As an undergrad (permit me to always reference this), one of the many things I was never serious about, was having a relationship or let’s just say it never happened. But don’t get it twisted, there were potentials, those duo people will almost swear with their GP as the first married couple of the class immediately after graduation… Well, talk for another day.
In my sojourn, brother zoning or friend zoning is the quickest getaway tag to keep a bro hoping till the ends of earth “we are just friends” “lets just be friends” “common, you are like a brother to me”, these and many more subtle way of saying NO. What baffles me is why you are still willing to keep the guy around, ask him for advice, sometimes collect money, spend time with him when the other guy you like isn’t available and do all sorts only to keep reiterating we are just friends and you turn bro to by-force philanthropist.
Let’s set the records straight, this is not a good position for you to be in. Bro, if she wants to zone you, please, JAAPA, now there’s a trick to that, we’ll come back to it.
“I believe sometimes men set themselves up friend zoning because of unnecessary maturity. I mean, you have no business listening to gist of how many guys are asking her out and still giving her advice on who to choose when you like her. If you want a woman, you gotta ask” Adeola (F)
Guy, did you read that well, Alaye Jara’e. ASK!
“First of all, I think it’s physical attraction, if a lady is not attracted to a guy who wants a relationship, she’ll just say they should be friends”Bisola (F)
While this might be a good way to keep the lady clear headed, that young man has just been thrown into a well of unending anticipation. If you aren’t physically attracted, tell him to leave, don’t create space for hope . For those guys that will not hear, that one is now his problem.
“Personally I think this happens when a guy stands to help a lady either emotionally or financially and she knows if she loses that man, she will lose the benefits. So, she opts for friend zone. Also, if you are not a girl’s spec but she likes one or two things about you, it might also lead to FZ” Lekan (M).
Now, here is the scope. If she just wants you around, clear her and leave, that might make her conscious about needing you, missing you might bring her back.
“No sensible woman will let you block her sight with “friendship”, she needs to see potential suitors” Adeola
Alaye don’t die there and shut the door against plenty other potentials, her name wasn’t written on your umbilical cord when you were given birth to. Yeah, girls like to be chased, but know where to draw the line. Hussain bolt has a finishing line.
Alaye jara’e
Quit the zone.
I know there are exceptions to this, kindly comment.
