Being a Bachelor(4)

The Hard Knock

I just recovered from my most traumatic experience ever, I don’t recall ever going this much worry or emotional stress in a very long time. Infact, I usually regarded myself as “I don’t think” but you see these past weeks, I went overboard with thinking, it took the whole of me, the number of time I hissed in a day must have surpassed the number of inhaling and exhaling I’ve ever done (of course, there’s a little exaggeration there).

I really just like this coconut picture, don’t think it hard.

What happened you may be thinking.

The reality that I am entirely responsible for myself now, hit me with a different wave, life took an entirely new turn, I had to be responsible for every gaddam thing. I will quickly like to reiterate like I did in EP 1, please and please again, if you are earning money already and you still stay with your parents or a guardian, God has really blessed you, please don’t be so much in a rush, if they are not pursuing you. Enjoy the privilege, stay there till you are ready to get married (well, maybe not this long).

Back to the long gone problem, I will highlight these challenges for an easy digest. I really hope you get something tangible from here.

Before you go further, I will sharing some of my most random moments in pictures.

FINANCE

See, every 5naira matters, maintaining yourself within any space is expensive depending on your level of income and how expensive you consider yourself. This is where I will say, I am not entirely good with investment choices and I think this is a problem with a couple of young lads. There’s a need to see beyond the present while making financial decisions. I’m not an expensive spender, I don’t eat loud and I don’t have guys I currently ball every weekend. Making good financial decision is beyond that.

There’s never been a time I appreciated my DAD more than this period, how he felt after dropping every penny… see you will be buying fuel like this and your body will be pinching you, angry about the fact that the fuel won’t last more than 3 hours.

I was shocked how I consumed this bread all alone in one day.

I was really sad with my finances, i’ve not been able to save a particular amount I had projected, my data consumption has been too huge, 5naira minus 1k that money is finished. These and many more really got me thinking and I really felt hopeless.

Takeaway: When you brood too much about money, it’s a fast way to self inflicted injury, because expenses never stop coming. Be wise and make adequate investment decisions.

CAREER

This is the part of me that I am most crazy about currently, I’m just 6 months into the industry and everything has been going on fine until the 6th month. Suddenly, I began to doubt myself, I felt I wasn’t capable and I’ll probably get sacked from my Agency. This is an industry where you are as relevant as the success of your last job and how recent that job was.

I was scared of so many things that could happen. The Covid thingy too added to my worry, I heard news of other bigger agencies within my industry, how they are relieving their staffs and slashing salaries. I said to myself, who will I turn to in this Lagos if I’m sacked, I practically have myself and God. I was really troubled.

I didn’t want to reach out to my mentor at this point, I feel I have disturbed him enough, but I was really confused. My procrastination game increased, I would think and sleep off while thinking on how to get a job done.

However, I learnt that moments like this come, but it doesn’t make sense to expect it either. But when they come, you should open up to people, don’t stop sitting up to get work done, people just need to see you consistently putting in your best.

I came out of that moment and I can say for the first time in 6months, I see growth in my career as a young creative (people have been saying it, but I just saw it) while I know the journey is still very far, Its no longer as difficult as I started to create ideas, well, they might be rejected for better options, but there was a time when I’ll be stuck with 1 or nothing, now, I can spontaneously multiply ideas.

Takeaway: Hold on to trying times and keep feeding your mind, its usually a transition process to prove you to yourself. Handle it well.

Moment when being awake is the only option you have to get the job done. There’s a feeling that comes with working at night though.

SPIRITUALITY

I have always seen myself as a whole, I don’t separate spirituality from other parts of me, so I don’t have a spiritual life, physical life, career life etc. I see them as a whole that complete me.

I still can’t fathom how few minutes with GOD eases you of all the burden you can ever carry, for all the times I have mustered strength to go before God, I had all the relief I needed to press on, but you know what doubt and unbelief does, it chokes you to easily focus on so many things that will never work.

I wasn’t consistent with my attendance sheet with God, but he always came through. Yes, I am still growing spiritually, but that phase hit me so hard to know how strong or weak I was.

Going to God is easy, problem is, we usually fall out of faith, we postpone asking for help and the longer it takes you, the longer your heart is infested with doubts and all the things that will never work right.

Takeaway: The wisest thing to do is to never go quite on God when nothing is working.

RELATIONSHIP

Romantic relationship is a vital part of our existence. All I can say is never start this journey with someone that will not give you peace of mind. When the wave of uncontrollable circumstances hit you, another human whom you are supposedly in love with shouldn’t be a thorn in your flesh.

I don’t have long years of actively being in a romantic relationship to advice you, but if you don’t have peace with that person, its enough pointer to find an alternative or get things right with yourself first.

Takeway: Don’t be committed to problem in your sojourn through life

NIGERIA

I had a very big issue with Nigeria, my country.

If you’ve had any interaction with me you’ll know how I believe in the Nigeria dream, suffice to say ‘I am to extreme a positive thinker’ no matter the bad press and all that, I just focus on staying positive, devising ways to always stay happy and extend same energy to people around me and it has always been very easy for me over the years, but not this time.

I started to see the bad things that hasn’t been working in my country, I was pissed with the nature of trends, especially on twitter. Some people are really gullible, Nigeria needs a protest (I have a post coming up on this).

The electricity problem affected me badly, the few days I had to go to work, bad road Made me feel so unease, days when dirty water spilled on me because of bad drainage system. Police officers with their regular harassment and criminal activities, agberos collecting money they clearly didn’t work for, yahoo boys and their constant defacing of Nigeria’s image, young and small boys smoking carelessly on the streets and a host of other things to come in my post ‘Nigeria needs a protest’

There was a day I was fuming hard, pained and without appetite. You know what, I was wrong for not saying a word of prayer at those times, I was consumed by everything.

I have always had to pray for Nigeria at certain points, but this time life was dealing with me and I was clouded, I couldn’t use my usual self help medication.

Takeaway: If you keep thinking about all the things not working in my country, you’ll stay depressed. Keep a high spirit, engage the power of Possibility mentality to keep your light shining. If we can’t have collective progress inspired by our leaders. You strive to make the progress and create an ark consisting of the future you desire.

FAMILY

Family is everything, I miss them more this time. When you have people who care for you, cherish them. When time takes you far away, all you’ll have are memories.

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I tried to simplify my experiences here, apologies if its too long a read.

More important is to stay focused, growing up isn’t the easiest thing to do, but when difficult times rock you, don’t lose your survival strategy, push through.

Yes, I have healed a great deal and I’m still recovering but there’s more work to be done to achieve this future in my head.

I know its same for you, find a team and sail through life together, thats what successful people do.

Thanks.

You can always reach out to me, if there’s need.

How did you scale through a very challenging moment of your life?

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