Being a Bachelor (8)
The Curve
Growing comes with more acquaintance to our environment and people. Being social animals means we crave for acceptance or a certain level of comfort and relatability, hence friendships, relationships and other types of ships.
The past few months has taught me a couple of things about friendship and definitely I'm going to share, that's why you are here anyway. Lol.
Growth and advancements (social class, location, knowledge, responsibilities etc) are serious strains or gains to relationships, depending on how it is managed by the parties involved. While we move on in life, we should accept to only keep some memories in our heads and do throwback when the time permits. Some friendships should stay in the past. Not because these people are bad, but to help you and them, it's better to keep the conversation once in a while and catch up over old times.
This does not mean, people should be used and dumped, that is inhuman and very inconsiderate. My point is, there's always a transition phase and some (emphasis on some) persons really can't jump with you into that phase and it will be detrimental to you if you drag them in with you.
I observed this recently at a function, I met some old friends and the only thing we could talk about was keep up with old memories, talk about our current challenges and experiences and that was the only relatability we had. Our different experiences has taken us through different routes in life, our interests no longer align and considering the months and years we've spent apart, bringing each other to that personal space is a lot of work and some kind of conversation just becomes boring to the other person.
Yes, there are dynamics to this relationship thing which is the community aspect of it, usually when you meet people who are beneficial to you and it's mutual, the propensity for longer years together is high (there are exceptions too). You all are putting effort to growth, winning and losing together, crying and sharing good moments together. You don't jump out of a community because it's not working, you stay there because you get support, love, companionship and help on days you need it most and you are also available to do same for others. Everyone needs a community.
Community here is a group of like minded friends who are effortlessly working and growing their skills and themselves to become better people. They are also willing to help each other, scold, assist and marry together. Communities are very important.
Ultimately, what keeps any friendship going is the sacrifice and how walls are amended. 20 friends can play for 20years if they actively work at meeting up with the expectation of every phase they get into.
I will like to think also that, in friendship, relationship or any other ship, each party owe it to each other to become better for the next person. Life might not be going in the same direction for 2 people, but if they are both working on themselves, it adds spice and new experiences. Challenges makes us vulnerable to people and it keeps life going with them.
Vulnerability is not weakness. Friendships can also be built on 'till death do us part', but know when to never recall a past.
What do you think about reconnecting with old friends?
Do you have a community?
